When we can’t take over

Hi folks!

In life, there are many things, events, journey and adventures that are lined up for us based on the seeds we have planted and the choices we have made knowingly or unknowingly.

We can neither ask others to "experience" it for us nor can we help others to go through the process as each are tailor made for us to learn the lessons we meant to learn.

Lately, I have learned more deeply about this truth .. that we can never take over the pain, suffering of others .. all we can do is be there for them, support them, listen to them and perhaps indirectly able to help to ease or reduce the pain slightly or even make the person who to go through the journey feeling they are not alone.

When my dad called for me when he's feeling cramp, itchy, pain, etc… I couldn't help him to endure the pain …. I can only take certain steps like lifting his help, applying some oils or cream etc to reduce his suffering ….

When any of my kids might be feeling sad, disappointed or even in pain… I couldn't take over their experience for them .. as there's a lessons behind every episodes or experiences for them.

Same goes for our own experience and journey in life .. no one can take over for us, so all the more we should practice self-love, self-care and truly make the right decisions and choices in life to make the experience a better one and a more positive and fruitful one.. make it worth it!

Just my own personal and humble opinion and feelings that I wished to journal down at this moment in time.. thank you for reading and sharing this moment with me.

Wishing everyone a fruitful day and Happy Dumpling/Dragon Boat Festival!

Cheers!

Sent from my iPhone

Crying, is it bad?

Hi folks!

Lately so many things happened and so many emotional roller coastes as well as learning to be done that I have yet to have chance to pen down my thoughts….

If you haven't read the recent episode I have shared, can check on this post:

http://secondtimeparenthood.blogspot.com/2024/06/experience-with-dengue-fever-as-mom.html?m=1

There's a saying that goes, "A lady became strong when she becomes a mom.", and there's another commonly misconception that says, "Boys don't cry!"

But truly, is crying really bad such negative connotation that it felt even sinful or shameful to cry for many people?

Having attended many emotional healing and emotional release workshops and talks, I learnt that emotional health directly affects our physical health. A lot of physical condition comes from unhealthy or emotional stress that builds up within. 

So crying is not something evil or bad … it's one of the ways to release the pain, imbalance, sadness, stress, etc. It's not a show of weakness nor is it a bad omen.

Recently, I had a meltdown, yes I had… I have been strong and tried to be strong during my own self healing process, caring for my dad and then my daughter,  seeing her crying and in pain .. I felt really helpless that I couldn't help any of them or even myself to relieve the pain or suffering. 

Thus, I played the music on my phone while crying silently with tears flowing and pouring down while at my dad's house and my daughter is still alone at the hospital. I felt really helpless, and really sad and down.. but at that moment I was stopped by an almost angry voice from my mom and almost shouted at me and asked me to stop. Don't cry, cry your tears and go wash your face now! 

At that moment, I felt as though I am doing something wrong as a small kid.. that crying and trying to release my emotions is something I forgiven or even permitted to do. I felt really bad and worse and I said ok.. I will go cry in my car. At that point of time, I don't understand the big reaction from my mom.. I washed up and made sure my dad had his meals, fixed his cramp leg and did whatever I could do before bidding farewell and make my exit. 

I wasn't angry at my mom or anything. I even asked if she likes to drink half pack of Ningxia Red I have fed my dad.. and she shakes her head. So I drank it all as I don't want to waste it and i think I truly need some booster before making my well to the hospital to visit my daughter.. yes I am acting like a superwoman, morning visiting my daughter as a mom.. before making my way to my parents house as a daughter before noon and rush back to the hospital in the evening to accompany my daughter … I numbed myself from any discomfort on my back and knee…

I also numbed my sadness and alarmed feeling from the way my mom reacted at my crying moment in silence… later I felt I could understand why she reacted that way.. maybe to her .. as many elderly folks felt, crying when your parents are still alive and not at the last moments of their lives is not a good sign… thus I was asked to shut and stop it.

I can understand her feelings from her long and behold "pantang larang" which I couldn't understand… and I respected her reaction but I told myself I wouldn't do that to my kids… it's too damaging and hurtful .. I would want them to feel safe, supported  and respected to show their truest feelings when they are with me.

 Crying is not a bad thing … is not a sin. And it's not shameful.

Period …

IF crying can make you feel better and stronger .. why not?

Yes, for those of you who are reading this.. I want to say it to you.. you are loved, you are uniquely you and you deserved all the happiness and good things in life.

Cheers!

Experience with Dengue fever as a mom

Hi folks!

Dengue is on the rise, I personally had been admitted to hospital for 6 days due to dengue fever many years ago.

Recently my own daughter was admitted to hospital due to dengue just a week before her ballet dance competition. It has been a heartbreaking news to her when doctor shared she might able to discharge but wouldn't be her best form to participate.

I can totally feel her pain and disappointment after preparing for the event for months… I just told her to focus on recovery and leave the rest to God. I prayed and I did all I know to be there along her recovery. It hasn't been easy as I had to also look after my dad who's not feeling well every weekend. So I have been running here and there .. and thankfully my younger sis took over one of the weekend so that I can be with my daughter as her reading wasn't looking too well.

Her platelet went down to 25 on 3rd day after she was admitted. From 81>67>51 and then 25….and doc said she would need to moved to ICU if it's going lower. Luckily, the next test results shows it remained at 25.

So we did all we can, taking papaya leaf (bottled and raw ones from friends who had papaya tree near their house), coconut water, small bitter gourd juice, lots of Ningxia Red (2-3 sachets a day), oiling her with thieves and other protocol shared by the aromatherapist…

On the 5th day, doctor said is moving up to 30, but not at a comfortable level to be discharged… so we asked what would be the reading that can be discharged and doc said at least 50..

So we load up again on the bitter papaya leaf twice a day, Ningxia Red and oiling her..at the end of the 5th day, at 7.35pm, her reading shows 50, the minimum number that allowed her to be discharged but still needs to go back up to the normal range of 150-400 to be on the safe side.

Indeed we are counting our blessings and grateful that she can finally be discharged and rest at home as for anyone who has stayed in hospital before, it's not easy to rest well.. all the constant "visits" by nurses to give you medication, change the drip, draw your blood for tests and measure your temperature and BP, not to mention all the beeping sounds makes it almost impossible to really have a good sleep which is the very thing our body needs to do its healing and recovery.

We brought along diffuser and diffuse oils like Joy, Believe and Orange to cheer her up and it helped a lot. Even the nurses who enters the room find it really nice scent and vibes.. everyone is happy to step into the room.

There's so much lessons to be learned at each encounter and journey in our life… let me share more in another blog post as part of my journal and record of my life as a parent, a mom..

….to be continued ….

Cheers and stay safe and well folks!

Sunday affirmation

Hi folks!

Happy Sunday! May everyone have a blessed and wonderful Sunday and weeks ahead.

Sunday

April-21-2024

I am becoming more centered.

 

I allow healing energy to flow through me. 

 

I am filled with gratitude.

 

I embrace the magic of flow. 

 

The answers show up just when I need them. 

 

I am having an awakening moment. 

 

I allow events to happen naturally.

 

I am on the path of least resistance. 

 

I have all the guidance I will ever need.  

Cheers!

Sent from my iPhone

Affirmation for the day

Hi Folks

Time flies, one quarter of the year has passed. How many New Year resolutions have we all been working on and making them happened?

One of my goals this year is to get back my mobility, strength and energy after my fall from the ladder which greatly affected my mobility and strength in doing many daily tasks and activities in my life.

During the entire year of healing process, I am forced to slow down… as in literally slow down ..as I couldn't walk as fast I did, drive as fast I used to rushing from one place/event to another and strength to sit/on duty as long as I needed to.

So in many areas of my life, I needed to make choices and priorities to focus on the essential and necessary. Bare minimum to get everything still moving.

I took time to rest, visualise and listened to podcast and took time to do my affirmation and meditation while I rest my back.

Today, my affirmation is:

I have time, all the time I needed to accomplish what's truly important and meaningful

I have resources, all the people, financial, guardian angels needed to accomplish my goals and dreams of a higher purpose

I have patience and love as well as perseverance to make healing and strengthening happened at its own timing with daily practice and exercises

I have assistance from the Creator who created us and the Universe…sending all the right people, event, tools to make me learn and grow in my life daily to the person I meant to become

Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Cheers to another fulling and purposely day!

No time

No time 

Hi folks!

It's been a long time since I last share a post.

It's been a long journey of self learning, healing and understanding about myself.

When we don't have time for ourselves, we lose a part of us…

Think to the bright side, we don't even have time to fall sick. 

Being a mom, a daughter and a team player in whatever organisation we are in, we played so many different roles and bear so many different responsibilities that we just don't have time to slow down or make time for ourselves.

Until our body gave up and force us to rest. So don't wait till this day happened to truly make time to rest and recharge. Be fair to this engine of life.

Just a short note as my own reminder!

So glad and grateful for the Raya break! Selamat Hari Raya to all who are celebrating and reading!

Stay grateful and be happy! Cheers!

Breathe in and out

Tuesday

October-3-2023

For the next few moments, set aside logic. 

 

Take a few deep, slow breaths and release all thoughts about "what", "how", and "when".

 

Simply let yourself believe that everything will fall into place at the right time. 

 

You don't have to shoehorn your way through any circumstance.

 

Believe that it will all happen with ease. 

 

Our need for certainty can feel too overwhelming at times.

 

Sometimes, you just have to let go of the need to control every outcome and embrace the possibility of miracles and unexpected opportunities in your life.

Love this reminder from:

https://www.dailymotivation.site