Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Conversation with kids about the Farewell

Hi folks!

Note that I prefer to use farewell rather than "death"...

Before we reach the funeral procession, I talked about it in the car with my children so that they are emotionally prepared as it is their first time attending a funeral.

I informed them that we are going to say goodbye to great-grandma and that great grandma has gone home to meet great grandpa.

Some of the Q n A KY and I had:
KY: Where is taipo going?
Molly: She is going back to "Heaven".
KY: Why "taipo": great grandma is leaving?
Molly: Taipo has finished her task here thus decided to go back to join "tai gong" great grandpa.
KY: Oh...then when can we go back too?
Molly: When we completed the task we need to do here then we could go back.
KY: Oh..do we get to go back to Heaven too next time?
Molly: If we keep our hearts "good", no bad thoughts, no getting angry all the time. Always loving, and close to God. Care for others..

Upon reaching funeral place, my mil said to us that KY 7-year old cousin cried loudly just now and demanded to know who killed his taipo...

KY: Mommy, why gorgor;"cousin brother" cry when taipo is leaving?
Molly: Because he misses taipo and can't bear to be apart with her.
KY then walked to him, ask him why he cried, then give him a hug and told him don't cry, taipo is back to "Heaven"..
Cousin: I feel sad that's why I cried, but mommy said I can give taipo something. I want to give taipo flowers.
And this usually hyperactive & rowdy boy became calmer.

It marvels me how kids react and questions about "farewell". It also taught me a good lessons to explained to them while also help them to grieve in a more positive way like what my sil did. The next day, my sil bought a bouquet of flower and place it in front of the great grandma altar/Picture.

I have seen how my mil cried out to her mom, feeling sad that she no longer has a mom to call to. At that very moment, I felt(as her half daughter), what I can do is to show more care for her..as if the taipo is showing me the way, the best way to grieve for her is to shower double care to this "mom" of mine while there are still chance to do so....

Thanks grandma for the reminder...I will remember to call & visit mil more often from now on...y'day(the day after the burial) when I called her to inform about the water disruption as I believe most of us has been too busy to read the news for the past few days...), I can feel from her voice, she's been crying alone...time to go back this weekend....to bring some voices and laughter home by her own grandchildren...kids simply have a magical healing power to transform grief to joy..the gift from God...

Cheers!

Sent from my iPhone

1 comment:

transformed housewife said...

I remember when I lost my late mum 4 years ago. She was only 3 yrs old then but she could understand what happened. She knew she couldn't see her grandma anymore.