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Hi folks!
In life, there are many things, events, journey and adventures that are lined up for us based on the seeds we have planted and the choices we have made knowingly or unknowingly.
We can neither ask others to "experience" it for us nor can we help others to go through the process as each are tailor made for us to learn the lessons we meant to learn.
Lately, I have learned more deeply about this truth .. that we can never take over the pain, suffering of others .. all we can do is be there for them, support them, listen to them and perhaps indirectly able to help to ease or reduce the pain slightly or even make the person who to go through the journey feeling they are not alone.
When my dad called for me when he's feeling cramp, itchy, pain, etc… I couldn't help him to endure the pain …. I can only take certain steps like lifting his help, applying some oils or cream etc to reduce his suffering ….
When any of my kids might be feeling sad, disappointed or even in pain… I couldn't take over their experience for them .. as there's a lessons behind every episodes or experiences for them.
Same goes for our own experience and journey in life .. no one can take over for us, so all the more we should practice self-love, self-care and truly make the right decisions and choices in life to make the experience a better one and a more positive and fruitful one.. make it worth it!
Just my own personal and humble opinion and feelings that I wished to journal down at this moment in time.. thank you for reading and sharing this moment with me.
Wishing everyone a fruitful day and Happy Dumpling/Dragon Boat Festival!
Cheers!
Hi folks!
Lately so many things happened and so many emotional roller coastes as well as learning to be done that I have yet to have chance to pen down my thoughts….
If you haven't read the recent episode I have shared, can check on this post:
http://secondtimeparenthood.blogspot.com/2024/06/experience-with-dengue-fever-as-mom.html?m=1
There's a saying that goes, "A lady became strong when she becomes a mom.", and there's another commonly misconception that says, "Boys don't cry!"
But truly, is crying really bad such negative connotation that it felt even sinful or shameful to cry for many people?
Having attended many emotional healing and emotional release workshops and talks, I learnt that emotional health directly affects our physical health. A lot of physical condition comes from unhealthy or emotional stress that builds up within.
So crying is not something evil or bad … it's one of the ways to release the pain, imbalance, sadness, stress, etc. It's not a show of weakness nor is it a bad omen.
Recently, I had a meltdown, yes I had… I have been strong and tried to be strong during my own self healing process, caring for my dad and then my daughter, seeing her crying and in pain .. I felt really helpless that I couldn't help any of them or even myself to relieve the pain or suffering.
Thus, I played the music on my phone while crying silently with tears flowing and pouring down while at my dad's house and my daughter is still alone at the hospital. I felt really helpless, and really sad and down.. but at that moment I was stopped by an almost angry voice from my mom and almost shouted at me and asked me to stop. Don't cry, cry your tears and go wash your face now!
At that moment, I felt as though I am doing something wrong as a small kid.. that crying and trying to release my emotions is something I forgiven or even permitted to do. I felt really bad and worse and I said ok.. I will go cry in my car. At that point of time, I don't understand the big reaction from my mom.. I washed up and made sure my dad had his meals, fixed his cramp leg and did whatever I could do before bidding farewell and make my exit.
I wasn't angry at my mom or anything. I even asked if she likes to drink half pack of Ningxia Red I have fed my dad.. and she shakes her head. So I drank it all as I don't want to waste it and i think I truly need some booster before making my well to the hospital to visit my daughter.. yes I am acting like a superwoman, morning visiting my daughter as a mom.. before making my way to my parents house as a daughter before noon and rush back to the hospital in the evening to accompany my daughter … I numbed myself from any discomfort on my back and knee…
I also numbed my sadness and alarmed feeling from the way my mom reacted at my crying moment in silence… later I felt I could understand why she reacted that way.. maybe to her .. as many elderly folks felt, crying when your parents are still alive and not at the last moments of their lives is not a good sign… thus I was asked to shut and stop it.
I can understand her feelings from her long and behold "pantang larang" which I couldn't understand… and I respected her reaction but I told myself I wouldn't do that to my kids… it's too damaging and hurtful .. I would want them to feel safe, supported and respected to show their truest feelings when they are with me.
Crying is not a bad thing … is not a sin. And it's not shameful.
Period …
IF crying can make you feel better and stronger .. why not?
Yes, for those of you who are reading this.. I want to say it to you.. you are loved, you are uniquely you and you deserved all the happiness and good things in life.
Cheers!
April-21-2024
I am becoming more centered.
I allow healing energy to flow through me.
I am filled with gratitude.
I embrace the magic of flow.
The answers show up just when I need them.
I am having an awakening moment.
I allow events to happen naturally.
I am on the path of least resistance.
I have all the guidance I will ever need.
Cheers!
No time
Hi folks!
It's been a long time since I last share a post.
It's been a long journey of self learning, healing and understanding about myself.
When we don't have time for ourselves, we lose a part of us…
Think to the bright side, we don't even have time to fall sick.
Being a mom, a daughter and a team player in whatever organisation we are in, we played so many different roles and bear so many different responsibilities that we just don't have time to slow down or make time for ourselves.
Until our body gave up and force us to rest. So don't wait till this day happened to truly make time to rest and recharge. Be fair to this engine of life.
Just a short note as my own reminder!
So glad and grateful for the Raya break! Selamat Hari Raya to all who are celebrating and reading!
Stay grateful and be happy! Cheers!
October-3-2023
For the next few moments, set aside logic.
Take a few deep, slow breaths and release all thoughts about "what", "how", and "when".
Simply let yourself believe that everything will fall into place at the right time.
You don't have to shoehorn your way through any circumstance.
Believe that it will all happen with ease.
Our need for certainty can feel too overwhelming at times.
Sometimes, you just have to let go of the need to control every outcome and embrace the possibility of miracles and unexpected opportunities in your life.
Christmas is a season not only of rejoicing but of reflection.
Winston Churchill
Truly, life encounters & events provides the lessons we need to learn in life
This year I have many such encounters that reminds me of such lessons
I am often on my move from one place to another
Not one who are used to moving slowly
Yet when your ankle is hurt, you have no choice but to move slowly and be more gentle on yourself
Let others help you out when you can't do many of the stuff you are so used to do it yourself
At the same time, do all you can to recover and allow time for it to heal
This is the very least we can do
Never give up and never lose trace of the lessons to be learnt
Merry Christmas to everyone who's reading this!
May the coming year brings abundance of happiness, wellness and peacefulness inside out to us all!
Cheers!
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November-24-2022
It's okay to have off days. Some days you just feel terrible, no matter what you do.
Feeling down is totally normal. It doesn't mean that you're weak or your efforts toward healing are futile.
In fact, off days help you to build your resilience and patience. Embrace your negative emotions with compassion.
This practice becomes a bit easier when you remind yourself that emotions are temporary, and you won't always feel like this. You will feel better again soon.
And, you will feel a sense of pride knowing that you have the courage to work through difficult emotions and regulate your emotions effectively.
