Crying, is it bad?

Hi folks!

Lately so many things happened and so many emotional roller coastes as well as learning to be done that I have yet to have chance to pen down my thoughts….

If you haven't read the recent episode I have shared, can check on this post:

http://secondtimeparenthood.blogspot.com/2024/06/experience-with-dengue-fever-as-mom.html?m=1

There's a saying that goes, "A lady became strong when she becomes a mom.", and there's another commonly misconception that says, "Boys don't cry!"

But truly, is crying really bad such negative connotation that it felt even sinful or shameful to cry for many people?

Having attended many emotional healing and emotional release workshops and talks, I learnt that emotional health directly affects our physical health. A lot of physical condition comes from unhealthy or emotional stress that builds up within. 

So crying is not something evil or bad … it's one of the ways to release the pain, imbalance, sadness, stress, etc. It's not a show of weakness nor is it a bad omen.

Recently, I had a meltdown, yes I had… I have been strong and tried to be strong during my own self healing process, caring for my dad and then my daughter,  seeing her crying and in pain .. I felt really helpless that I couldn't help any of them or even myself to relieve the pain or suffering. 

Thus, I played the music on my phone while crying silently with tears flowing and pouring down while at my dad's house and my daughter is still alone at the hospital. I felt really helpless, and really sad and down.. but at that moment I was stopped by an almost angry voice from my mom and almost shouted at me and asked me to stop. Don't cry, cry your tears and go wash your face now! 

At that moment, I felt as though I am doing something wrong as a small kid.. that crying and trying to release my emotions is something I forgiven or even permitted to do. I felt really bad and worse and I said ok.. I will go cry in my car. At that point of time, I don't understand the big reaction from my mom.. I washed up and made sure my dad had his meals, fixed his cramp leg and did whatever I could do before bidding farewell and make my exit. 

I wasn't angry at my mom or anything. I even asked if she likes to drink half pack of Ningxia Red I have fed my dad.. and she shakes her head. So I drank it all as I don't want to waste it and i think I truly need some booster before making my well to the hospital to visit my daughter.. yes I am acting like a superwoman, morning visiting my daughter as a mom.. before making my way to my parents house as a daughter before noon and rush back to the hospital in the evening to accompany my daughter … I numbed myself from any discomfort on my back and knee…

I also numbed my sadness and alarmed feeling from the way my mom reacted at my crying moment in silence… later I felt I could understand why she reacted that way.. maybe to her .. as many elderly folks felt, crying when your parents are still alive and not at the last moments of their lives is not a good sign… thus I was asked to shut and stop it.

I can understand her feelings from her long and behold "pantang larang" which I couldn't understand… and I respected her reaction but I told myself I wouldn't do that to my kids… it's too damaging and hurtful .. I would want them to feel safe, supported  and respected to show their truest feelings when they are with me.

 Crying is not a bad thing … is not a sin. And it's not shameful.

Period …

IF crying can make you feel better and stronger .. why not?

Yes, for those of you who are reading this.. I want to say it to you.. you are loved, you are uniquely you and you deserved all the happiness and good things in life.

Cheers!