Saturday, February 20, 2010
Friday, February 19, 2010
I am sure for many of us, there are fear in our lives. The only difference is how major and minor the fear is and how we allow the fear factor affect our lives.
There is certainly no fixed measure of fear. For a 3 years old child, the fear of going down the slide is as REAL and HUGE as the fear of speaking in front of public for an adult.
One thing can be such easy for someone may proves to be a huge fearful task for another person.
The other day when I see my 20month son, Shone showing his fear to sit on the swing which I had sat with him before, it reminded me of an article I read before and instead of belittling his fear or trying to "force" on him convincing him that the "swing" is no big deal, I looked at him and put myself at his level. It is a genuine fearful task for him just as it would be for me to ride on the "Bungee-jump" or etc.
I told myself to acknowledge his fear while offering if he would like to try the swing with my assistance, and Shone did relented and allow me to put him on my lap and swing twice with him and later on..his fear persisted and I respect his fear over it and let him choose his other activities but at the same time, from time to time, I'll try and observe and offer him the swing again. Who knows, at which point of time, he would have overcame his fear for swing.
I think it works the same for adults. I have many fears in life.
Some of these fears have successfully stopped me from doing things would make my life so different and turned out more "spectacular" perhaps. It changed my life forever. The fear….a very powerful tool which when used properly can help us to perform the unbelievable and thus cement that faith, confidence and Can Do attitude in us!
At one point of time, when I am in process of overcoming my fear of bringing my two young kids out on my own, I am seeing my two kids overcoming their fear for some task in the playground. I cannot help but ask myself have I passed on my fear factor to them genetically or emotionally. This is certainly not a blame game but I do see the connection there.
As a parent we are the direct role model and influence (good and bad ones) to our children. Inevitably, all parents would want to pass on something good to their children. To be a good role model.
Therefore, we (I) should take charge and overcome the challenges in life. While doing so, I am passing on the good traits, good example and faith to my kids that yes they can do it too!
So folks, let us march on and face our fear and make them our ally!
I like to share the things I tried doing in facing my fear and eventually triumph over it…perhaps you all can share with me how you did it too? Let us all share and learn together!
Thanks and Cheers!
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Below are my thoughts and reminders for myself and DH after reading the article.
Life is a big adventure for 4-year-olds
Four-year-olds are well-known for using "colourful" language. They do not use profanity like some adults would, to hurt. They like to laugh out loud when they say words like "stupid" or "bum bum". They are just curious to observe the reactions of people when they say certain taboo words.
KY loves to do this often imitating adults...
Four-year-olds like to try new things and show off what they can do. They can sometimes be "daredevils" when it comes to trying out dangerous tricks or jumping down from a height.
KY loves trying her limits.
They need close supervision during playtime. Parents and caregivers must constantly remind them to be mindful of safety when they are playing.
Did I tell you folks that KY once coloured her toes nails, fingernails and her brother faces with black permanent markers? Gosh, and I couldn't clean it with soap...imagine the alarmed look from her teacher & babysitter the next day!
Children this age are keen to participate in daily routines. Let them join in the food preparation and cleaning-up at home. Show them how to wring a cloth or grate a carrot for salads and popiahs.
Four-year-olds take great pride in their small achievements. They want to be useful and helpful. Praise them for their efforts. When they feel encouraged, they will be motivated to do what is right. At this stage of development, they are working on being able to show initiative rather than wait to be told what to do.
KY will be beaming with pride when you hand her some "important" to perform on her own
This is also a good time to introduce multi-cultural activities and gender awareness to your child. Many four-year-olds are interested in knowing the difference between boys and girls.
KY did asked why didi(her brother) has "ku-ku-bird" and why gor-gor(big brother) can go shirt-less but not her....
They also want to know why other people do things differently from them.
Choose books with themes that are free of gender and disability biases. Talk to your child about how other children in the world live, learn and play. Take your child to cultural plays and performances.
Make it a point to get picture books that depict children with disabilities. Your child will enjoy hearing the interesting jobs that men and women do. Children this age love to ask, "Why?" "How?" and "What?"
Nature walks and making observations of nature are probably among the activities that four-year-olds enjoy immensely.
Children don't really need large garden plots to grow vegetables and flowering plants. You can get a small garden box for your child to work on. He will love watering the plants and measuring their growth.
I gotta do more of these...
Adults who join children in pretend play often find themselves in a fix when four-year-olds show little regard for objective truth. I remember observing a four-year-old playing masak-masak (pretend cooking). She put all the plastic babies into the pan and laughingly said: "Look! I'm frying 'babies'."
In pretend play, children usually work out their strong emotions. Adults should just allow them to carry on rather than discipline them by saying: "Oh! You shouldn't say such words." Use positive words when talking to your child. You can steer them towards appropriate behaviour by suggesting: "Let's try doing this and see what happens." Or, "Tell me what I can do to help you in your work."
Four-year-olds can relate to your messages easily. If you want them to act positively, try setting an example for them to follow.
Encourage your child to do more physical exercises. Your energetic child will enjoy playing beanbag games that require balancing, tossing, jumping over, running to and fro, skipping and catching.
Set up a simple obstacle course with chairs, pillows and coffee tables. Your child can crawl under, jump over and slide across.
I once used a bedsheet to make a tent for my children to crawl into. This is great fun for children in their early years. We used to snuggle together with torchlight and do shadow play.
I used to do this with my baby brother when I was babysitting him. I used blankets and two sofas...but I got KY a IKEA tent as a "sister" gift before the arrival of Shone...yet my two kids seems to prefer the blankets ones..haha..bigger space and flexibility while same fun..i guess...talking about practicality and being frugal..
Be sensitive to your four-year-olds' feelings during play. Children this age get frustrated easily and often harbour fears of the unknown. Sometimes they may not want to do the activities that you have spent much effort and time on. Do not force them to comply as this may trigger off a major temper tantrum.
Children learn through repetition. If your child enjoys certain activities, let him do it again. He may need several repeats before he finally does it well and feels satisfied with his efforts.
Just wish to highlights some important points to take note of to myself as well as to all my parents friends out there!
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Not exactly a great movie but enjoy couple time with DH...
Still, home is still d Best place to be...
Will date DH at comfort of our home in near future!
Time to zzz...
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
My kidsI am sure all parents would agreed with me that the kids teach us a lot! When I got busy with my work, and feeling guilty over it(in silent), my girl can sense it and gave me that reassurance I need by saying, "Mommy, I will busy with school work later after you sent brother to babysitter's place and mommy you will go busy with your work too, ok!" Thay are such a darling!
My HusbandBeing a Gemini and being a woman does not helped much in my decision-making. Why do I say so? Because it makes my "already" indecisiveness mode even worst! Having a more clear-headed life partner like my husband helps a lot! Especially when I feel lack of confidence or lack of that extra boldness to go ahead with a dream action to go after my dream/goal, my husband gave me that extra PUSH and SUPPORT needed!
My SiblingsThey have been my best ally ever! In time of uncertainties, sadness and down-trodden time, they stood there for me and makes me laugh and ease me up and feel that things are not that bad after all and it's NOT the end of the world just yet!
My ParentsI think I have to give credit to both my parents not only for bringing me into this world and giving me the BEST they can afford. My dad being a WAHD, he spent most of his time chauffering us around school, sports activities and trips. My mom the hard-worker provides us with the much needed financial support to survive our studies/degree.
My breastfeeding alliesMy mentor everywhere, From people of all walks of life, a policewoan who managed to breastfeed eventhough it is VERY hard for them to do so; from a police woman being on duty all the time yet managed to breastfeed her child! A mother of twins. A constantly flying mom who carried her breastmilk in dry ice after her company trip. Lactation consultant, counselors and articles online as well as other breastfeeding buddies who faced the same thing makes my every breastfeeding challenges looks minor and common.
My buddiesMy primary school buddy, Sharon, high school buddies(lotsa of them), my ex-colleagues, my ex-bosses, my Godsister(Kim) and lotsa more!
Historical /Public figuresPeople with such wisdom in life like Confucius, Mother Teresa, Superman(Christopher Reeves), and many more...
CommonersEveryday folks like the tough yet friendly restaurant owner, the tough young kids who supported her family since young, the athletes who brings glory to the country with their pure determination and sportsmanship.
Workshops and Positive PlacesThe people I met at Asiawork Basic Training, at centres who stressed on spirituallity, numerous workshops....
BloggersYep, you heard it right! I have learn and gain a lot just by reading and "witnessing" their own struggles and triumph in life.
Monday, February 15, 2010
Sunday, February 14, 2010
May you have a great time with your loved ones today being the first day of Chinese New Year and Valentine's Day!
Double happiness for this joyous occasion!
P/s: Happy Birthday also to my long-time buddy, Michelle Yam...may you find your true love very soon!