Thursday, February 20, 2014

Reflecting the past, Pondering on the future

Hi folks!

For the past few years(till now) it has been a constant speeding race for the point when DH asked if I knew the car tyre is kinda insufficient/getting flat, KY asked if I saw her notebook in the which I have no answer to their questions for the moment I'm in the car, I am in a 30-50 minutes car race to work. Once I reached office, it's another mad dash to office and clock in. I do not have the time/mood to do anything else. What a danger!

As my working hour is 8am-5.30pm, there's insufficient inside building parking(only for managers and above level) and early staff(as early as 6.30am-7.15am)! Yep, people come as early as that in order to park inside the building compound and avoid taking the shuttle van which only service till 8.30am. Thus those who came later than 8.30am would have to walk 20minutes to work! I've walked few times myself till I have the thought of investing a bicycle so that I could cycle from the parking spot to office instead.

Reaching late plus the time taken to wait for shuttle(if you're lucky) or walk to office(+20 minutes) means you'll be reaching office around 9am++ which would means you can only go back after 6.30pm. And the traffic means it's another car race to pickup the kids on time....

Which babysitter likes you to put your baby before 7.30am and pickup after 7.30pm? 12 hours of long hard work!

Sigh...all these rushing are causing a havoc on my emotional and physical well-being. I was literally panting and find it hard to breath(and find it painful on my c-section wound area) each time I reach office and I am ever so ready to go to bed by 8.30pm. If DH is around to coach the elder kids in their homework, I would be lucky to get my short rest before waking up later to finish up my household chores. Then repeat Mon-Fri. What a life!

Thus, perhaps that is why my babysitter resigned from me...and wanted a break. Guilty, remorseful..for not heeding the signs of distress. Some women(myself) includes are prone to have high tolerance of "sufferings" until we couldn't take it any longer, and we burst...or suffer from burnt-out.

This is another lessons learnt for me. Never take things for granted. Any small signs from anyone, DH, the children, my elder parents and in-laws. Take cue from all these minor signals and communicate clearly and timely before things go/progress downwards.

Looking ahead, now that I've made the decision to make the change. I truly hope I am able to focus more on my family and my own well-being. I also hope to build up the skills needed to work from home. No more excuse! No more spending another mad, crazy 3years that leaves a blank chapter on my kids and me. I practically do not know where the times have gone and how I have neglected SE in particular! So much so he's having some minor learning difficulties now..another regret! But cheer up mommy, I am determine to make the change now..before it's too late.

May God bless our family the strength, wisdom and good health needed to make the change. May abundance of warmth, happiness and inspiring journey comes ahead us.

Thank you Lord!


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